You know that feeling, when your feel your skin bursting due to the heat and your body just wants to give in. I mean it in like numerous situations – when you’re studying, when you’re in a race, when you’re taking part in activities where you really have to push not just your body but your mind to go beyond yourself. It can get so tiring sometimes, I think we’ve all felt that some time in our daily lives.
I must push on.
Messy thoughts up ahead, don’t say I didn’t warn you. Okay, now that this message has been brought across to you, you are now allowed to read on! ^^ -opens door-
These few days have been tremendously draining. Sometimes it’s either because I didn’t have enough sleep the night before due to the mad workload grr, and other times it’s because I dream too much while I’m asleep /_\”. I’ve been having dreams every single day, and I wake up remembering exactly what they were about (at least I think I do). It sometimes feels like I barely slept at all, and my eyes just always want to give in. But I’ll have to give a pat to myself for not falling asleep during any classes since the start of the year (almost, I think, or none, actually!), and for pushing myself to work even harder every day. It gets quite unbearable sometimes, and amazingly I still don’t need afternoon naps, so… let’s see how my new plan works out eventually. (:
I haven’t been blogging very consistently as everyone who comes to read can see (: It’s really because alot of thoughts are just in my head and I haven’t put them out yet/don’t see a need to speak them (yet). Well, I guess it’s a good thing, because blogging takes up quite an amount of time (half an hour is still alot right!), and I need to learn to filter my thoughts, as well as the words that spill out of my mouth.
I am so blunt when I feel the need to be that I feel terribly sorry sometimes. I say so many wrong and unnecessary things and sometimes I just want to slap my mouth shut, but I guess I do mean some of the things I say, which makes me not always want to take it back. But one thing that I like to be blunt about is love, well, at least I know one person who would agree with me (and no it might not be him (:)! ‘When you want to be romantic, be blunt, be honest, don’t hold anything back!’ I guess I do learn from the best there is.
I do digress alot don’t I (: Oh dear. But at least it’s interesting -I know someone who watches this space not for the photographs or the songs but for the writing. It’s strange because I don’t think my english is superb and it’s not like I always write in english so… it’s just strange. Hmm, but thank you and the truth is – - – I stalk you too. (: Watch out. xD
I have some thoughts to share from the past week:
I think people who look down on others who are not as academically strong as them deserve to be punched deep and hard in their soft regions. Yes, you do very well for that subject, but why is it that you doubt the capability of someone else? And when that someone does better than you in like a class test or say a homework assignment, why do you get so worked up? You have no reason to be this mean, or insensitive. And you really shouldn’t be judging someone based on their academic performance too. It hurts when they realize it. Anyone can be competitive, yes, but be competitive with yourself… oh, I could just go on and on. =/
I think that I am growing up to become a better, more understanding person. Then again, I am growing to become more stubborn with my opinions on things. Oopsie. It’s not that I’m not open minded, but I seem to tolerate less and less each coming day. I feel strongly against something, and the next moment I’m hurling opinions at it, completely unaware of whether or not I’m right or wrong and I just want to get my understanding across to them, but I refuse to listen to a word they say. Okay, I take the first statement back. I am Benjamin Button II, I am growing down. (: Will have to work on that!
Has anyone noticed the flowers blooming on the trees next to the bus stop opposite the bus stop (confusing haha) at the back gate of our school? They are simply gorgeous, and lovely. Feng said they look like ‘Sakura’ flowers the first time he saw them, and no, they actually don’t =P, but they do resemble the same thing – a beautiful tree covered in a shade of sweetness. Why is nature so beautiful? And why are my eyes always drawn to beautiful things? I wonder!
I did quite well for my GP essay and I feel happy about it. (: Whee! The way he marked my paper was practically as though he had a crush on me… there was like ‘wow…’ x1, ’so true!’ x3 or something and ‘yup!’ x2 and ‘great conclusion!’ x1 at the back of paragraphs and my eyes were just O_O when I saw it. This is so cool! He made me feel like I can improve even more, and so… I will. (: Watch me.
I cannot let Mrs. Toh down anymore!!! But I will be letting her down tomorrow (again) because my printer isn’t working (again). I’m sorry. =( But sometimes sorry just isn’t enough huh… oh when oh when will I be able to produce more efficient and more exciting work? Come on arty vibes, come to me as I summon you and enlighten me now, now, now! Let my printer LIVE!!! =(
Okay, it’s way past my bed time, and my bed time’s actually really early, so that makes it way way past my bed time so I guess I have to go hit the pillows! -whack whack whack- =D
P.S. One of the things I give thanks for all the time is the company I have after Bio class every Tue and Thur. (: Thank you Oce, you are seriously the bomb diggity (haha so weird to be using it), you rule my world and my stockings! (:
P.P.S. I miss watching you shoot ball. It was never a burden to wait, though it was tiring, but it was realy because I wanted watch you despite how you tell me everytime not to. But now that the work load is catching up on me and taking a huge toll on my health, I have to give up some things.
He shoots and he always, always scores.
*Chop!*
You’re an amazing player and that’s an understatement, and you can get even better than this and you know it. You can be SUPER amazing, yea? (: Right now you are SUPE amazing, you are lacking a R for responsibility of training even harder!!! Gymming more!!! Running more!!! and keeping your body, heart (: and mind at tip top condition. Napfa will be no kick for you (so jealous that you can fly low when you’re doing SBJ), but you can ace it and I have faith in you to beat all your records from last year. Yay, go baby dearest! (: You muscle tank, Jia(me)-you, we were made to jia you together. (:
Okay good night before all your goose bumps from this loviness affects your ability to sleep soundly. (: Love you til your buttock explodes.
Mesmerizing, spell binding even.
3
Cause! I! Don’t! Need! No! Candy!
And! I! Don’t! Need! No! Drugs!
When! I’ve! Got! Youuuuuuuuuuu~
Mm hmm, mm hmm, mm hmmmmmmm!
=)
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love!
There’s nothing you can do that can’t be done!
Nothing you can sing that can’t be sung…
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game
It’s easyyyyy. (;
There’s nothing you can make that can’t be made
No one you can save that can’t be saved!
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you – ou ou~
in time – It’s EZ! (link)
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
=)
All you need is love, all you need is love,
all you need is love = love = love is all you neeeeeeed!
- Changes player and clears throat once again -
Oh yea… I’ll tell you someeeeethin’!
I think you’ll understand (;
And aaaaaaaaahhhh-I, say that somethinnnn’…
I ! Want ! To ! Hold ! Your ! Haaaaannnndddd !
…
I WANT TO HOLD YOUR HAAAAANDDDDD
I WANT TO HOLD YOUR HAAAAAAAAAAND =D
-skip skip skip-
And when I *TOUCH* you I feel happy
(; (; (;
Inside
=P
…
It’s SUCH a feeling that … m’love (;,
I can’t hide
I can’t hideeeee
I CAN’T HAAAAAAAAAAAAA-ide =D
-air guitar solo on bed- -throws head around-
darrrr darrr derrrr derrrr darr darrr duuuuuurrr durrr
darrr darrr derrr derrr darrrrerr drerrr derr derr
dao-dao-dao-dao-dao-dao-dao-dao-dao-dao-dao-dao-daooooo!
=)))
‘Is it so obvious that I’m soaking in love songs?’
‘No. You are soaking in love.’ ^^ =)
Off to class!
‘My favourite line from the song is …’and then I kiss your eyes, and thank god we’re togetherrrrr… I just wanna live with you in this moment forever, forever and -everrrrr-arh’. ‘
Now as you are reading this, I’ve already left for the art room. You are asleep as I’m typing this. You may have to be alone for a while, but it’s only for a while because you know and you will realize that I’m actually always in your heart, I’m always near. Or do you already know that too well? You know too many things sometimes, tsk tsk.
I thank god for us too, everyday, to be able to be around one another, to be each other’s support, life, and love. You have no idea. I wish I could give you everything, like a bed in a quiet room to sleep on instead of this lousy table in a room filled with people typing madly on the keyboard, but I can’t, but I will – some day.
爱你哦.
Thursday was a special day. I recovered my memory card reader + 1GB memory card which I had carelessly left at the com lab during lunch break from a new made friend who had safe kept it, and what’s most amazing is that she was in feng’s physics class, which was opposite my bio class. When bio ended, Oce and I went to search for it at the com lab and then we met Siyi and I got hold of her friend’s number and then I realized she was having lessons in his class. So I walked into the class after it ended to retrieve it, and after that feng walked out beside me, and it kinda felt like a miracle how some things work themselves out right before you. Big thanks to Oce, Siyi and Alayne for the big help. =) What a relief! I’m a blessed child. =)
Friday – Had a good talk with two friends, one in the com lab and one in the canteen. 1. You have to be strong, they aren’t worth your time. 2. I’m lost as how I’m going to approach the matter, but I’ll figure something out. I never took it for granted, just so you know. I feel sad, too… but more lost and confused as what I can/should do.
Also recieved a major compliment from a group of 7 strangers, which has caused my head to swell slightly XD, but I’m quite sure I can bear with it, I swear! xD Feels very nice to be complimented, hee. But it’s important to be modest right. =)
Saturday – Big study day at feng’s place after tuition and accomplished quite alot of things in a short time! Felt really happy that he was so chirpy, it made me feel like we fit like puzzle pieces sometimes. =) He was just very sweet I guess, very huggy. Warm. ^^ I got home really late of course haha whee whee whee!
Today – Feng’s sleeping like a baby. It’s raining cats and dogs outside! I’m attempting a P AND C question that I don’t think I can complete! And… I’m craving maggi mee. =D
The entire week – big hugs go out to Chris for captivating me, and for supporting me with so many things. More smses and phonecalls and our date soon! =) I’ve also been worrying more about coursework, I hope I can catch up. I plan on working at the speed of lightning from tomorrow onwards (can’t do much today), so give me the strength to push myself beyond my comfort zone and let me improve through time. I’m drawing alot more now, but am still too shy to share all the stuff. Hmm, I need to change right? Jiayou jia! ><
And one more thing…
I APOLOGISE THAT THE PHOTOS ARE LATE, COUSINS. =D I just haven’t found the time/mood/endurance to send them!!! You can kill me another day. xD
I shall go jab him now. Heeheehee~
Will update more later on alrightie? =) I have important things to do now.
I could stay awake -
just to hear you breathing.
Watch you =) while you are sleeping, far away,
dreaming.
I could spend my life, in this sweet surrender…
I could stay lost in this moment – - – forever
Well evry moment spent with you
is a moment I treasure
(forever and ever)
I don’t wanna close my eyes..
I don’t wanna fall asleep
’cause I miss you babeh
and I don’t wanna miss a thing.
Cause even when I dream of you
the sweetest dream will never do
I’d still miss you babe…
=)
Once in a moment, Once in a lifetime…
Why do a few seconds feel so long? – but in a good way.
I want to be wrapped in these arms, to hear your heart pulsing through my head
Every wait has it’s journey, and every harvest has it’s fruit
I will be in your arms again, …
soon.
So close yet so far.
…
I can almost… but not quite.
He’s right next to me now, but we’re helpless, and that’s because we’re in school. /_\
I woke up today feeling as though it wasn’t a new day, but actually a continuation from yesterday, and that’s the special thing about weekends when you wake up to a familiar face and a familiar sound that let’s you know it’s not just going to end after the night, because it just might be for a lifetime.
Yesterday was splendid! ^^ Just soooo many surprises… I had no idea… all of it was so sweet!!! =) I feel really lucky! =D Well one of the things that touched me was that he saved up. >< and used loads of his savings… ><-pounces onto you- and a whole load of other sweet gestures he did that i wouldn’t have known about if I didn’t realize it myself! And he made plans with friends for surprises, and well it felt more different than normal days, because there was just so much excitement! I don’t kn0w how to blog about it ’cause I don’t know where to start and I don’t know how to end it! >< It was a really, really great experience. I was…over the moon and smothered in love (literally happened in the morning).
And I still am. ><
Rise and shine, dear. =) Happy valentine’s day two!
You make me feel beautiful.
I need to get an understanding across to a few of you. If you lose something that is important in your life, it does not mean that you have lost yourself. And I hope that that gives you the strength to live each day knowing that ultimately it is you yourself that determines what you feel. Don’t push yourself off when you know it isn’t your fault, you’re actually the one who deserves the most pampering.
I’m craving good food, is it really that obvious?!
The day has only started, but it has already been difficult. Had a horrible start to the day the moment I stepped through the gate to school and I’m quite sure that I’m not going to let anything or anyone make it any worse (or all hell will break lose and I will explode into a thrillion small pieces). I’m tired (and cranky). I think I will sleep earlier today.
Oce is a great companion, she really really is. Bag packing, some few years from now – really can’t wait. I thought about it, and even had a short dream about it (I think, not so sure), I guess I feel now that I don’t have much to take or leave behind if we were to run away from the rest of the world. Memories can be even better, and there’s no wish that I’d want to relive them – it makes them all the more special, so yes, I guess, one day, I will give everything up for myself.
*** *** *** *** Did you see the stars in the sky yesterday?
Now that you mention it… (again, for the 100th time or so,) I do need to love myself better. But self centred love is not the love to go, then why do you tell myself to love myself more? I’m afraid that when I do, you won’t be able to understand why I do some things because you never were used to it, and as much as I try to be selfish, … you know as well as I do that I give in all the time. This is frustrating!!! But necessary. I need to love myself even more.
My condition is back – I haven’t told anyone and no one’s (referring to teachers and those who are just plain oblivious) been observant enough to realize my fatigue through the day besides just a few people (thank you, big love to you guys), and this came as a surprise, even for me. I brought enough money to visit the doctor tonight, to up the supply. If anyone (boy girl whoever) is free and reads this during your free break or something, you can text me, and accompany me to the clinic, if not then I’ll have to go myself. Would you believe it if I told you that you could change my destiny? (:
Will pull through, it’s not like I’ll be gone tomorrow or something.
The same familiar scene on the same flight of stairs,
the same surreal sound when my fantasy ends,
the same vanishing ground followed by the same helpless plunge,
the same waking moment when my reality ends.
It’s not written by me, but the visuals stimulated in my mind just keep rewinding in my head. But then again, why so negative?
*
And she went on and on. She didn’t realize that she had diverted away from the topic until she finished, and just as I opened my mouth to say something, she interrupted me again. I don’t think she understood me completely, but I guess it’s alright. There’s still time to develop this idea, and I’m pretty excited. She’s right, it’s going to be one hell of a fight and I’m not ready for this… but I will struggle now, and things will get easier in the final few months. I’m afraid of failure, but I won’t let it kill me. I need to work hard, and I need to start now. I’m thankful that she’s always been so encouraging. I will have to learn how to accept criticism, because that’s only how I can improve. I must learn to be stronger, and I must learn to take care of myself better. And I also hope that in this process of … finding ourselves and developing our own ideas, we don’t lose sight of one another.
*
What keeps you on your feet, and what sweeps you off your feet? How do you stand rooted firmly to what you’re supposed to feel/think if you don’t really want it? How are you suppose to be consistent when there’s a world out there so filled with mystery and surprises? How can you possibly resist the temptation of something new and exciting?
Have you really lived life? Or are you just living? … They say live everyday like it’s your last, but why is it that when every new day comes, you are filled with regrets? Perhaps it’s true that everything has a plan, and fate knows best.
But I still refuse to live like a machine.
*
I am feeling apprehensive about it, but I sincerely hope that it will sweep you off your feet. I wish I had the time to make it more amazing for you. I’ve disappointed so many people in so many situations and the last person I’d want to disappoint is you.
*
It’s not that I’m a major softie, or that I can’t take negative comments about myself because I’m so self assured etc. I just hate to hear things like that when I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong, and I think that despite how many people tell me to toughen up and fight for what I believe to be true/myself, I just don’t see the point of it because I’m afraid it’s unnecessary.
Treat people the way you want to be treated – dad told me this when I was 5 or so, and I plan to stick to it for life. It’s already become a natural instinct, but part of me knows I’ve done things I regret doing. I wish I could go back and change a few of these things.
*
I’ve been finding it easier to fall asleep at night lately, and I think it’s because I haven’t been watching TV anymore – that means less food knowledge and more effective sleep! I am glad that’s so, but right now as I’m typing this, my eyes are giving up on me. I have to thank god that my brain doesn’t shut down everytime it’s tired because then I won’t function at all! But then I get head aches. =/
*
I want to make you the prettiest model in the world!
*
My hands are so cold I can barely feel my fingers tapping on the keyboard. The teachers should seriously consider changing the temperature in this room, I feel like an ice cube. O_O
*
I must admit that I am excited for Valentine’s Day. =) It’s… strange because we have tuition on sat in the morning and I don’t want to dress up if it means our teacher is going to tease us in the back of his mind … that thought makes me cringe and happy at the same time. Everyone says ‘oh it’s so cliche!’ but it isn’t, really. It kind of feels like a birthday. And it’s an important day to me as well. =)
*
Do you still remember the night that changed our lives?
The continuous rhythm beats in my head, it doesn’t go away.
I just might want it as much as all of you do, because I also have a purpose to fulfill. It’s not my dream, but yours, but I guess part of me just wants to make it mine. I wonder what you’ll think of it – actually I don’t think you’ll realize what exactly I’m talking about. I think it’s just so amazing that you have that fighting spirit. All of you can, and do have it burning inside so strongly because you have that goal to reach. And a part of me feels thankful that I can stand at one side and realize this, though I can’t relate to that feeling, as much as I’d love to, because we’re in two different worlds. Fight for what is yours, and fight hard for it. Live your dream and make it reality – I will be there to witness everything.
*
Almost got a classmate into trouble yesterday because of my foolishness. I’m glad that so many things have cleared up, and I hope to never have to let anyone feel that way ever again. I feel so apologetic, and even though I’ve said sorry like some twenty times, I hope it doesn’t leave a stain. I will make it up to her. =)
*
I am sick again! I actually recovered some two days ago, but it came back this morning, and I am quite upset about it. I hate feeling so sick and it’s been like a week already! People usually can’t tell when I’m sick, but my mood swings are so unpredictable, so that’s a big hint I guess. And I get a whole lot more sleepy (but that doesn’t mean that I sleep more during lessons) so I stone more, and I crave certain food more. I haven’t had my fix of the vitamin C drink… which is super salty but I want it now!!! And I demand for more love and attention, which can become a nuisance too.
*
Why hasn’t it been raining at night/ early in the morning? I want it to rain so that the flowers and everything around some how look more colourful. It’s almost as though the rain wakes up the colours. I think that there’s also something magical about the rain because it really makes me feel happy. I dislike how the sun comes out during a light drizzle though. All in all, I think the rain helps to amplify my feelings – I don’t really know if that’s a good or a bad thing!
*
Lena and I are in the com lab now, and we’re leaving in like a minute!
It’s been a while since I felt light on my toes! … I want to feel it soon! =)
Taken from Claire’s blog. We’re supposed to shuffle and post song titles as answers but since there is no music here, I shall just do it likeI would a normal survey. =)
IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
1. No!!! It really isn’t, I swear!!! … But you can just go ahead with it =P
2. Yes! How many times must I say so?!
3. Dont know…
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
I like a guy with a sincere heart, protectiveness, humour, gentle behaviour, a good strong build and romantic tendencies. ^^
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
I feel a little sleepy. There’s PE later but I’m not so excited about it because I just want to hit the snooze button. I have the same afternoon PE class as Chris though, and that makes up for alot. There’s Bio test later on and homework to finish as well, but I know that I can do it! ^^, so I’m not feeling so bad about it. I feel quite excited to watch feng train later too, but I’m a little scared because I don’t know if a certain teacher is going to be hanging around today. =) Shy and awkward all the time!
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
To live a happy, satisfied life filled with good company and spirit. =)
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Smile! Haha. You can never know when your smile will make someone else’s day. =D
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Cute – I get that ALOT, I don’t know if it’s meant to be sarcastic sometimes! Glowy with love (:, Loud, weird, hyper, mood swingy, bottomless pit of a stomach, unpredictable bowel movements, helpful, sporty and romantic.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
They are loving, protective and strict! I think that the find it hard to communicate with me because I am such a rebel, and I think that I should start thanking them more often and much more sincerely by behaving better.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Abstract thoughts. I think about food quite alot, and the purpose of life. I think about a whole load of things, it’s really hard to put it down in words, you get? =)
WHAT IS 2+2?
2 + 2 is 4.
Haha =) Don’t get me started!!!
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIENDS?
Weird. =)
Yay!!!
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
=)
Spoilt, childish, annoying, cheeky and down right silly at times…
And at other times just DOWN RIGHT ATTRACTIVE IN EVERY SINGLE WAY ^^ No explanation necessary.
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
My life story? Filled with so many once in a lifetime experiences and so many surprises and realizations… how can I know what’s my life story when I’ve barely lived half of my life, (then again you never know when you’ll die, so) just live everyday like it’s your last. =)
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
I’m not sure really! I would like to design something, manage something else, do something that will change my life and learn to live a life filled with love and compassion! What do I want to be when I grow up? Haha, I guess the answer shouldn’t be what I want to be because all I want is to stay ME all my life, whatever profession I go into etc. It’s all about being/staying and living as who you are that I think is the most important.
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Most of the time I still get butterflies, though hardly anyone knows. The first thought is usually a very private thought. =)
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Rebel!!! Naughty girl!!! Pai kia!!! No la, they just find that I should learn to control my temper and set my priorities straight.
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
The song that my lover wants to dance to at the wedding. Probably. I’m fine with anything. ^^
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Huh? I don’t know. It doesn’t really seem important right now!
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Sleeping, doing all types of fun sports, trying out new experiences, collecting beautiful, pretty things, laughing to the weirdest things and living life with my loved ones =)
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
They are WEIRD. ^^ Yay end of story!
WHAT’S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
A loved one losing his/her memory of me.
HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Peacefully. =D
WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Hmm. I regret many things. The thing that I probably regret the most is the first evil thought that triggered me to talk back to my mom.
WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
The weirdest, most unfunny things. Happy people, happy scenarios. I love to laugh at people laughing too!!! ^^
WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
MANY THINGS. I am like a major cry baby. I cry at sad movies, with sad people, at sad songs, at sad moments, at happy moments… O_O
WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
I want to. Sure, why not!
WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Getting hurt physically or emotionally. That’s one thing. Another thing is losing my identity when I’m confused as to what I should do next in life. How can you dare to live without a purpose?
DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
You decide. =)
IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
I’d change some of the things I’ve done or said in the past that I’ve regretted? Who wouldn’t! There are just too many things. =)
WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Erm. Nothing. O_O
My eyes are sore and tired though. I really want to sleep.
WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
You are my motivation.
A world underground or above the air?
*
What keeps you rooted? Who lifts your head up everytime you feel tired? They say it can be your motivation or your worst enemy… I just always end up saying that it’s mine and that I’ll keep it with me because frankly to me that’s all that matters.
*
I would like to regain the strength to jump so high that when I land I feel the blood rush through out my body. That impact when you bang into something and it sends you flying backwards in the opposite direction…and you wake up realizing you can’t feel your fingers. And after shaking them around a little, you feel it all pumping again, your system is rebooting, and you’re alright. I liked that feeling of the wind in my face and the fear riding inside, it’s probably been some few months since I’ve last felt the sensation. But the thing is, I’m always scared that I won’t be able to move my fingers or say that I’m alright the next time it happens.
*
I haven’t lived, I’ve only been dead. When I truly live, you will know, because I will tell you, and not just you, but I will tell everyone – that it is the first day of my life, that you mean the world to me, that you’re not just here because I need you sometimes, that you’re beautiful, that you say the harshest but the most sensible things, and that I could never forgive myself for the things I’ve done to you, and that you’re always there for me that it makes me feel so bad, so so bad.
Like I said, I am not yet there, and the day has not come. But it will, some day, and then you will know.
*
If I had a million dollars – I would buy an apartment in London, mainly because it’s quieter there, and because it’s cold. And it doesn’t snow so much. And who said I can’t have you beside me to make it worth while?
*
Oh oh.
Got to go. – and that was because zheng yi came home 
I think that some people are just seriously, seriously adorable… soooo adorable to the extent you want to squish their cheeks and pat their head and hug them and scream ‘YOU’RE SO CUTE!!!’ again and again.
^^
These people make school so much fun =) !
So after we said bye to claire and thanked her mom, we took a ride in Chris’ dad’s car to City Hall and then we left and walked straight into Levi’s!!! =D I tried on like a billion jeans (well it felt like that) that he picked and finally decided on one which I didn’t like so much (but he liked alot), and then decided to switch it with one I liked better (and it turns out he likes it too) and then he got a nice dark one that I liked, and boy is he so choosy when it comes to clothing size and he always says that comfort must come first! So boyish, so so boyish, I can’t describe how 100% boy he is, it never fails to amaze me. -_- And then our wallets vommitted 50 dollar notes and thank goodness for the $50 trade in offer. =) Levi’s rules! Yay, I shall go back one day to check out other things when I have more kaching soon! =)
It’s the first pair of Jeans that I (more like he) chose and bought myself, which made it very special for me. Haha, am I being weird? It really means alot to me! ^^ I used to get the tops only, which have been rotting away at home for some 3 years. I’m glad that I got it with you dear, ^^ you should see how he is whenever he picks clothing for me… he really concentrates and asks me if it’s comfortable and gives his opinion on them, and if I choose something that he doesn’t like, he won’t even let me try it – like this turqoise pair of jeans that looked so retro and I was like AHHH I want to try and he just took it from my hands and refused to give it back O_O!!! Haha, my goodness! And he’s super conservative too, which makes me very happy actually. ^^ Mum and many people say that you’re a good boyfriend. =)
So today I carried the Levi’s cloth bag to school as my school bag ^^. A friend said I was like a walking advertisement haha, because the Levi’s word was so big but ah well, I’m going to use the bag that Art class bought from NY soon. They’re so nice to have bought bags for us ^^, and the bag’s pretty ^^ and cool ’cause it’s green! Must thank claire again for keeping it in her house for so long.
School’s officially out, and both bball teams have a match later. Should I go down with them? Or should I go home to do work? I can’t decide! Econs essay is due tomorrow, and I’ve only done the outline, and I want to draw somemore. Maybe I’ll leave half way. =)
I want to see my chey zheng feng now =)
And boys in jeans are nice,
but Zheng feng in jeans is nicer.
Blush *^_^*
