Archive for April, 2009

Worymember

April 30, 2009

It’s about time I said this. 

I am afraid of reminding everyone that we’re running out of time – not the time for work, but time to remember, to spend on things closer to our hearts. I am afraid they’ll call me foolish, but I’m more afraid of being the only one who realizes. I worry that they say it’s my fault that I didn’t take opportunities seriously, and wasted them on things I could have sacrificed (because they were ‘less important/urgent’) instead. A part of me also knows that worrying can only take me this far, and the next step is what’s needed right now. 

Help me, because I can’t do this alone. And I think, neither can any of you, right?

On a lighter note, my heart has been fed. (:

The love of giving

April 23, 2009

bouquet-of-red-roses

At first you won’t understand how this magic works it’s way into your life, but once you start, it will soon become a cycle you don’t want to stop.

Gifting is like a seed. It grows with each watering, and sprouts into something beautiful over time. It’s gentle, could be subtle, and can impact someone’s life in amazing, dramatic ways. I realized this first hand, when giving caring thoughts and even your own presence to someone else can erupt in you such good feelings, and more when you least expect it to. You recieve almost the same you give, just in a whole different manner. It carries you in momentum, and makes you a more compassionate, sensitive person, or at least that’s what I think it has made me. =)

And I don’t think I’m ever going to stop giving, because it’s a gift to give. When I recieve something from someone, whether in the form of materialistic items or something intangible, it almost always encourages me to do the same, and that’s how great relationships form. You don’t do it for the credit, and you don’t think about the ’cost’, you do it because you want to (out of good will, perhaps). In a way, it keeps us ‘human’, and spreads all this sweet, sappy love aromas in the air that are contagious, and when breathed in/exposed to, will make one feel happy and gay ^^.

So give I say, give! And you yourself will recieve. But most importantly, give because it’s a blessing to be able to!

You could make some one feel really really, really special. =)

Happiness! ^^

April 20, 2009

Really need to get this down in a permanent space so that when I look back I can remember everything:

He was being seriously drop dead charming and cute the entire of today. The most significant moment was when he decided to mime certain love songs for me, non-stop, enthusiastically. I laughed til I practically saw white lights and felt light headed (<3_<3)!!! I just sat on the bed, gazing on as he did all those hand gestures and some were really sweet where as most were just hilarious and cuteee x99999!

Remind me to bring my camcorder over the next time he suddenly wants to get so high again. I MUST show it to the world, what a talent! =D

He also cycled all the way out to buy chicken rice for dinner as I waited in the comfort of his house using the computer. =D What a charmer, he refused to let me go with him because I was feeling tired (and he wanted to be macho and all)…

Thank you for another amazing day, love! 谢谢你!

You’re so important to me. =)

Excitement

April 19, 2009

The weekend has been super FUN! ^^

I got to spend almost all the time in the world with love and it felt great! Hee, we’re like two peas in a pod. We’re green and icky and sticky. xD Oh but you’re no longer green now because you’re pink, heehee. For those who read, you’ll understand why later! =)

On saturday morning, Mum bought fried teriyaki noodles for my breakfast! Yum! Finished everything in the packet and was still craving more so went down to eat more junk food and then ended up feeling bloated and sleepy but satisfied. xD

Math tuition was rescheduled to the afternoon because dearest had to attend training in the morning, hence I didn’t go for r project model-designer shoot. No regrets there actually! xD When I finally got to meet him, I just stared in shock because he was as PINK as ever, and I’ve never seen him this flushed. It’s as though he got himself a pink spray tan! But actually only his upper body was burnt, and only his shoulders hurt. Poor thing. Hai. But they deserved it for still going for a swim after training!

What! YOU DO. (!!!) ><

After tuition ended, we went down to the match at Kovan which was so near heehee YAY and they won tong wai/whye (don’t know how to spell/can’t be bothered) by plenty plenty! YAY YAY YAY!!! ^^ Whee, it was really so exciting sitting next to Mrs Toh as she complained about the hot seats and humid weather. We would comment on players from the opposite team and say how VIOLENT and AGGRESSIVE they were and not to mention FAT and occasionally makes funny jokes or cheer the team on. It was, well, nice!

It was also then that I realized that I won’t really like matches held at this place because of the large crowds of ah bengs who swear excessively at everything and anything. It’s almost like you’ll have to tell yourself repeatedly to ignore them because it can get very distracting at times, and just plain annoying. But I must admit I did find them amusing when they started sharing their ideas of who played what in which team and their prediction of the final score… until they said Feng was the point guard and I almost choked. Some of them also tried to ‘be funny’ (quoting mummy) with me and ‘distract’ me, but I couldn’t be bothered. -Smiles at dearest- =D

We returned to his place after that for a late but yummy dinner, and then we proceeded to do a little bit of work before we both decided it wasn’t going to be productive anymore, so he brought in the other mattress into the room and transformed the place into a Anti-work zone/Pro-sleep zone and we just lay on the bed talking to one another. It was nice. =) His body was literally radiating heat, and there were times when he had dozed off into sleep where I’d start to panic that it was too warm even when the aircon was blowing directly at him. But thank goodness he was alright. I wanted to carry out procedures to treat fevers. Heh. Over training really does something to the body…

We probably slept at 1am that night.

I woke up at 2-3am at the sound of his voice, and it was because he was too cold. So I shifted down to share the blanket with him. Mm hmm, he only has one blanket in his room and he gives it to me everytime I stay over. Can’t possibly describe how bad I feel everytime. I mean, yeah okay you can say ‘why don’t he just get another one’ but good blankets aren’t cheap and he likes good stuff. This also made me realize that even though his normal body temperature is higher than other people, he also has his own limits. You can’t let someone who measures 40 degrees on average to go to a cold region without a thermal sweater on, right? It looks like I have to add a new item to the list of gifts I want to buy. It will be a blanket.

Woke up in the morning to a beautiful face and a lovely reminder of what keeps me going everyday. =) It really was a brilliant feeling, when the first thing I saw was a smiling face and warm hands that brushed my hair and told me to go back to sleep. At that moment I was just ‘Thank God for you!’ ^^

We ate maggi mee for breakfast. AHH!!! We broke the basketball diet rule. =X

And then we ate ice cream. I guess now there’s no turning back now. xD

And then we did work and rested and ate even more until it was time to go Kovan. I had initially put on a spag top which he thought was too revealing and distracting for the ah beng population at the community centre (signs of protectiveness, aiyo aiyo~!!!), so I put on his basketball team raffles shirt which was HUGE and much less revealing and it felt really nice and comfortable and I also recieved a compliment that I look very smart in black collared shirts that resembled …mini toon workers. I was just =_=” about the mini toon workers part, but I understood where he was going. =D And I also smelt nice! Bingo!

We were late. But not later than his coach. =P

They played against Whye Nam (Huh what’s that) today and didn’t win but I felt they put up a good fight. I mean, average Singaporean men vs large number of tall Chinese/Caucasian boys averaging > 1.8m, well what can you expect right? They were actually neck to neck at some points in first two quarters and performed really, really well. It was a good match and here’s the thought that appeared through out my head during the match: GOOD-D!!! I also found out later that dear DIDN’T want to get subbed out and hence he played 3 quarters. I was wondering if he was tired at all, but he said it was fun… hahaha, so cute! I would have dropped dead. =X

Mr Quek and his wife treated a few of us to dinner after that. It was really nice of them and even though I didn’t dare say it/show it during dinner, though I think some of them could tell, I thought the food was really good!!! I mean, if I could have a plate of kampong chicken to myself, of course I’d finish it (with rice and all). Ah, so satisfying. It was hearty. =)

And then we took mrt/bus back to his place and then he sent me off. =D

And I conveniently left my schoolbag at his place, which means we’ll be going to school together tomorrow.

<3

April 17, 2009

Love is the ground where I sprout from, the oxygen in the air. It is the place I’ve always come back to, no matter where I’ve headed.

I sometimes lay awake, yearning for a familiar touch or smell, and when I have it it almost feels like my body is glowing with mirth. I can always imagine a warm breath sweeping past my ears, sending tickles through my body, and yet it is a comforting feeling that entrances me.

Do you know what it’s like to love someone so much, that you can’t see yourself without picturing him? You say their name different, more careful, gentler each time. Like a pulse coming straight from your heart, landing into the cradle of your mouth, lingering of honey. It’s almost the same as when you’re in his presence, and him in yours, and you feel like you’ve come home.

But at times when the wheels stop, and blindness suffocates your heart, the sensitivity of touch, of feel, a simple sensation is stolen. An empty shell lays out before you, a road that stretches out so far beyond, one I’m too afraid to take. But then your hand grips mine tightly, and the world turns again.  You lean in to kiss my cheek; I let out a smile that’s loud enough to echo into time.

Love is not safe – it can’t be safe, even if it’s what most people settle for. The kind of love I want is where we’re both born with ragged edges, where we’ll have to search for that perfect fit. Even when you fumble at first, and start to tear at your seams, you stubbornly inch closer to one another, forcing the fit. That kind of love, is one which breaks you, remoulds you and changes you, … you come out different than you were when you first started.

But it’s different from the sensation you get when riding in a speeding car, eating the wind in your face. It’s more towards the boldness inside where you thrusts yourself off a cliff, trusting that a certain person, your only one, would be there to catch you safely. Or at least that’s what I think it feels like, sometimes.

(o^3^)(^_^o)

“She was all the things I wasn’t. And I was all the things she wasn’t. She could paint circles around anyone; I couldn’t even draw a straight line. She was never into sports; I’ve always been. Her hand, it fit mine.” – J.P.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Today’s the last day of school for the week, and I’m all out to welcome the weekends. It’s time for GP, and I’m a little late. Meep!

Wouldn’t it be nice if the world was Cadbury? =3

April 16, 2009

cadbury-chocolate
I chanced upon this Cadbury website while browsing for chocolate brands (don’t judge me), and there were all these different versions of the song! I’ve only seen and heard two on TV, and apparently they have more. Have a look at them, some are pretty interesting and out of this world! =)

Make sure the song plays out in your head as you absorb the lyrics. xD

1. The Surfing Surfer


Wouldn’t it be nice if the world was Cadbury?
You could surf inside a chocolate tube
Ride your board across the wave forever
Get wiped out and never get a bruise
And if a shark came up and tried to bite you
You could say ‘I’m chocolate – I invite you’
Wouldn’t it be nice?

2. Postal madness

Wouldn’t it be nice if the world was Cadbury?
Chocolate roads and trees and birds and bees
Delivering all kinds of letters daily,
Every kind of purple parcel too.
And if the dog did try and grab a mouthful,
You could bite him back he’d taste delightful!

Wouldn’t it be nice?

It appears that the first two versions already have ideas of BITING. What violence! xD

3. Soccer Superstar

 
Wouldn’t it be nice if the world was Cadbury?
You could be a soccer super star.
The referee would blow his chocolate whistle,
A shot a goal would even break the bar.
And if you scored the winner
You could have the cup for your dinner
.
Wouldn’t it be nice?

4. Family Holiday

Wouldn’t it be nice if the world was Cadbury?
Riding in the car would be a tasty treat.
Changing gears would soon become a problem
Cadbury dairy milk is so good to eat

When you arrive at your destination,
You’ll be greeted with an exclamation!
Wouldn’t it be nice?

5. Maze Crazy

Wouldn’t it be nice if the world was Cadbury?
You could play inside a chocolate maze (AHH!!!).
Run around and round to reach the middle
What a big surprise for you awaits.
If you couldn’t find your way to freedom,
No need to run, just face the walls and eat ‘em!

Wouldn’t it be nice?

This one is my favourite, you can probably guess why. You actually EAT your way out of a situation, now if only that happened in reality! =D

6. At The Movies

Wouldn’t it be nice if the world was Cadbury?
Going to the pics would so sweet
There’d be no need for munchies
Cadbury dairy milk is the perfect treat
If someone came and blocked your screen view
Just take a bite and make a hole to see through
Wouldn’t it be nice?

More violence!!!

7. Space


Wouldn’t it be nice if the world was Cadbury?
You could eat your way through outerspace
Discovering new life on stars and planets
A triumph for the Cadbury human race
If you’re gonna conquer alien ground
Just make sure you’ve got enough to go round
Wouldn’t it be nice?

And I think this one is just so adorable! Handing out chocolates to Aliens? I’ve seen this one on TV!!!

I’m craving chocolates now! xD

Shadow in the skies

April 14, 2009

Beautiful sky 140409

It’s been a while, … have you missed the clouds?

Look up and *poof!*, they’re there.

They’ve never left you….

Never will. ^^

* * * * *

And how could I forget!

The Old Chang Kee truck and turkish delights made the day a great one! =D

I remember going down to buy a curry puff and a stick of sotong balls from OCK during my break and was happily about to leave with them when my dear arrived =) (how prompt!) and STOLE my food, /___\ -sulks- with his eyes!!! He did the OOGLY eyes thing and I couldn’t resist so I just surrendered and handed it all over to him. T_T He had lecture in 5 minutes time anyway, so he practically downed everything in like 2 minutes. O_O I then asked Kevy, who was already planted right at the front of the queue, to get more for me, and she did! Yay, OCK and Kevy ftw! ^^

Lunch time was more exciting! Dear suggested we go get some Ice Cream after lunch, so I called Lena to come along and we both got scammed quite badly by the Ice Cream Man hahaha, and were laughing our heads off (and not to mention everyone else around us too), but the surprising thing was that dear barely got scammed at all! Boo! Boo! Boooooo! Unfair!!! I’m guessing it’s because he’s a guy, and we’re girls, and the Ice Cream Man’s straight. =D Haha, just joking!

I plan on buying the same things tomorrow too! Join me? =D

=J *Chews*

Nom nom nom!

April 13, 2009

‘I trust you enough to know that if you took something from me you’d give it back.’

‘Well then, what about your heart?’

And in his arms she danced. It was like seeing excitement for the first time and stuffing her pockets full of  all the bright lights from his eyes, afraid she was going to be caught for stealing something that she couldn’t keep, that it would dissolve the moment she realized it was only a dream, but certain that if she hadn’t, she would never remember it as clearly.

‘Trust me,’ he said, ‘You and I, …it’s real.’

She closed her eyes. If she had to live in a moment for the next fifty years, then let this be it. But she couldn’t understand this… this raw love that overwhelmed her. It could make one focus exclusively on those few precious pieces that you could commit to heart, and forget everything else. Was this worth it?

Her eyes opened a crack. ‘Prove to me that you love me.’

He let go of her hands, and spread his arms wide, and after a second she had leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek.

‘You haven’t answered my question.’ She said, embarrassed that she couldn’t quite keep her hands off of him. In her life, she’d never felt this attachment, so alluring yet confusing, one that she knows she could never get enough of.

‘I can’t prove it to you, you know that. Even if I wrote you songs and brought you out to dinner at your favourite cafe on a cold, windy night, it still wouldn’t be enough. Anyone could do that. I love you because I’m here, because I can, because I want to.’

A filament of sensation sparkled between them, and it only seemed to brighten the dark room, lighting it into an array of colours that seemed to travel into a dream.

She held him tightly as they became one, and smiled.

‘That’s why I love you.’

Strength

April 12, 2009

‘It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them, more ‘manhood’ to abide by thought-out principles rather than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind.’

Good friday

April 10, 2009

#1
Thoughts:

How does love work itself through your mind? How do you first acknowledge that you’ve fallen in love with someone? Is it from the way you cringe everytime she mentions your name, or from the way you can’t seem to draw away from her gaze? Looking beyond a chemical reaction, what other explanations are there? The feeling as though you’ve bursts all your capillaries and all the blood in your body rushes towards your pounding heart, which all of a sudden sounds so loud that you shy away from the crowd, afraid that everyone can hear it too. You flush, you gush, you blush, you look like the most ripen… tomato anyone’s ever seen. Is that it?

Or maybe it’s the lingering thoughts that you’ve chained permanently into your mind, memories of the first time she whispered a secret to you such that no one else could share it, the way she fidgits everytime she gets nervous before she …tickles you unexpectedly, the laughter that’s so mind blowingly loud but yet encourages you laugh in the same rhythm, everything from the way she looks when she’s asleep to… when she’s boiling mad. Is that it?

No… maybe that’s not it. Maybe it’s the magic that works itself inside you to write poems and sing songs about her, the way your pride doubles when she sings praises of you, the way you sometimes wish you could become a plaster, stuck onto her, nursing her back into… perfection every single time she has a boo-boo.

Can someone tell me, honestly, when do you first know when you’re in love?

#2
Thanks for the good time today bren and fuzzy, the company was nice! =) If only bren could stay longer. Sharing and listening to some things also made me realize how fragile we are, and some things are always easier said than done. But I believe that positivity works wonders, and if you take the first leap, you may 1) fall but eventually get up, or 2) fly… So leap, leap, leap. Don’t be afraid. =)

#3
Thank you my dearest friend for the lovely dinner date tonight as well! =) How long has it been since we last caught up? A year? Or more even! I’m glad you liked your steak, I’ll be sure to invite you over to eat at my place soon! You have my promise. -Pinky- =D

Your Iris Nevus

April 9, 2009

Also known as the eye birthmark or the eye ‘freckle’.

Do you have one? =)

Because I think I’m in love… I am so strange I know, but so what? It’s not even an imperfection, but rather a piece that creates a perfect image. Why haven’t I blogged about this earlier?!

Ask me and I will, oh yes I will, look into your eyes for as long as you want me to.  

I will. =)

Protected: Silence

April 9, 2009

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While you’re dreaming,

April 9, 2009

Your eyes are bigger than the moon. In them you seem to capture the stars… I can see them even when they’re closed, really. I always find myself watching you while you’re sleeping, does that actually come as a surprise? It seems to have become more than just a hobby, as time passes. But each time, I fear the moment you wake up to realize my presence, because then I am so vulnerable, and I will be blushing like a strawberry, but still I anticipate it because I want you to know how much I …want to be next to you.

It really is like how they say it, isn’t it? You start from the curve of their eyes, and you follow the symmetry down the bridge of the nose before you round the cheeks. And then it slides down to his lips, and you stay there for a while, just looking. It’s embarrassing, but very alluring – I can’t help but linger. And when you’ve looked beyond that, you would have realized you’re breathing in the same rhythm like his, and it calms you. And after that, you become conscious of how every little movement you make may disrupt his sleep, so you lay there, helpless yet willing, just … watching, remembering.

And gradually, you fall asleep, forgetting that this moment had even existed, until the next time it happens again…

Disappointment

April 8, 2009

What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Oh won’t you walk through
And bust in the door
And take me away
Oh no more mistakes
Cause in your eyes I’d like to stay…

Sigh.

Blossom by blossom, the spring begins

April 7, 2009

We have grown so familiar, so comfortable, and so attached in a sudden, that I think you could be the one (for me). It wasn’t planned by fate, or destiny, or anything like that. The way things turn out, I believe, are from the way we create them. Take miracles for instance, they don’t just happen over night – even Christians have to pray, to repent, before anything out-of-this-world presents itself in atoms. You’d think I was still naive or childish if I said I believed we had super powers, or could cast magical spells (,not to mention have super hero behavioral instincts as well), but why should one rule out such a possibility? That every movement from our hands, every cause and effect system, has originated from the power within our very conscience – to change, to create, or destroy.

Perhaps this is my super power, and yours, that are working in unison. =)

Like our digestive juices, that are simultaneously working their way through digesting the little bits of coke gummie right now as we eat them one after another in unison, in the computer lab. =D

* - * – * - * - * – * - * - * – * - * - * – * - * - * – *

I have always wondered how one can live a life of solitude if it means you can’t be with the ones you love. It could be a personal choice – your ‘freedom’ that’s been bolted down by your overwhelming burden is finally led to flee, and you are sitting in the midst of everything, delusion-ally satisfied as it tumbles through the clouds making your head feel light. But seclusion could be a mistake, then where are those around you to remind you that it is? It’s almost the same as not having cognizance. One lives so unconsciously, that he might as well be dead. All one needs to do, really, is to push past the clouds that shield him, and float back down to earth. It’s never too late to live again.

* - * – * - * - * – * - * - * – * - * - * – * - * - * – *

When I read, I sometimes find myself submerging into the story line so entirely that I seldom realize that my eyes are strained and sore, and my breathing is inconsistent, following the momentum of the plot. By then, it would be way past bedtime, and invading thoughts refuse to let me sleep, and frankly, I don’t seem to mind.

I think I’m starting to like reading more than just as a hobby, and I think that words can be just so beautiful.