Happy. =) Just feeling satisfied and comfortable.

Saw so many pretty things today – flowers, clouds, fruits.

I am so strange! =)

Have to go and pei baober to burn midnight oil now…

sharing

I enjoy listening to people share about things that matter to them, like memories, moments, flashbacks, or their own opinions on things, and I always make sure I engage with what they’re saying. They may be rambling, or beating about the bush, but I give them my complete attention as long as I know that they’re being sincere, and not making a fool out of me. That’s usually based on my own judgement of the person and that’s also derived from how well I know him/her.

I realize that whenever I listen, I also look rather intensely at the person speaking and I don’t have much control of myself when it happens. I analyze the facial expressions and gestures. I think I do it because it makes me read them better, like how the look in ones eyes can amplify an emotion that’s expressed through words. And somehow in some way that I cannot explain, the person speaking never ever looks in my direction when talking… until there’s nothing left to say or he/she needs to stop for a while. I probably do the same when I’m talking just that I can’t remember.

I think people look away because it helps them remember memories better, or it allows them space to free their thoughts/gather them and construct them, like into a big mind map. They sort every thought out, and put it in order as they start to speak. They do it so the person listening won’t have such a hard time trying to gather bits of information, and it’s also clearer and easier for themselves.

It could also be a default response to look away when say you take on the role of a story-teller. You sink into your own world as others grapple to make sense of the thought that is private and yours, and that’s magical in some way, though a tad bit selfish. People can only use their imagination to pry into your secrets.

Perhaps they are consumed by the thought such that the only way they can gather themselves to pour their heart out is if they look away. It makes things slightly easier, and I don’t think anyone would feel comfortable being vulnerable and afraid. Or maybe he/she is just shy, and tries to hide the emotion, because one look into the eyes gives everything away, and that might not be what he/she wants.

And imagine different combinations of such possibilities happening while you’re speaking. I mean, I wouldn’t know where to look! And how is listening an easy task anymore? I wonder if this is really the case for some people… or just thoughts from my one track mind.

And I guess that’s why some things are better left private and kept to oneself. Certain things that if said could break loose like animals from the zoo and cause havoc in the land of towering skyscrapers, or represent timed bombs, ticking away, a prelude to disaster. But I never believed in letting one person climb out of his/her private thoughts without help from her surroundings. It’s important for us all to ‘get a grip’ on ourselves when we’re ‘thinking too much’ when we should just well, stop and ‘get over’, but it would be a lot easier if we all had caring and helpful supporters.

I think that we humans are pretty amazing. Our ability to feel, understand and learn makes us practically capable of anything. I’m being optimistic here, of course. It would be nice if everyone could lend a listening ear to more people, and if everyone could learn how to open up and trust people with their thoughts. You could inspire some people with your thoughts, you know?

A part of me has always refused to believe that people have secrets too deep or dark to share. I think if you do good, then you have nothing to hide, and that’s what I think people of our world should be like =)

Nobody

Happppyyyyy

‘Because when you love someone so much, like I love you, there’s only one thing to do…

so, will you…

erm…’

‘marry me?’

=)

You make me feel like the best thing in the world sometimes.

Travelling

I lost count of the number of times I wished I could tell you (when you’re least expecting it) ‘let’s go away on holiday to wherever you want to go, just us, alone with no one else’, and then take your hand and reassure you that everything else can wait, that I’ve made all the plans such that everything falls into place and you don’t need to worry about anything at all. Put our lives in SG on hold and go sightseeing together, eat everything and anything together, learn things together.. anything.

I daydream about it, and these thoughts find their way into my dreams sometimes, but I don’t think it’ll materialize anytime soon. I’ll just have to stay hopeful. I know that it’ll come true eventually and it’s just a matter of when, after all.

Life in SG is nice, but sometimes I wonder what it’ll be like to live abroad. Different location, different weather, different culture (and accent perhaps), different food, different people. A part of me is curious to venture into foreign land and start my life anew, but there’s just so much at home I can’t bear to leave. I think I’d prefer travelling as a source of learning about places and cultures than say settling down permanently somewhere. It’s always more exciting to go on a trip knowing you’d be leaving the place in a matter of time… it makes one appreciate experiences better.

I guess I just love to travel. =)

New mission

There are times when I feel that I really need to listen to a particular song/certain type of music such that it’ll help to calm me when I’m feeling unsettled or it’ll make me happy or make me sad etc. I just need some type of music to make me feel… better, to pull me out of emotions that I allow myself to feel over and over again. Sometimes it’s good but sometimes it’s bad.

It’s also very convenient to store all your favourite music into some place so small and bring it anywhere with you.

So… I want to get an mp3/ipod/anything, a.s.a.p! =D

To the moon and back <3

Past two days were really niiiiceeeeee =)  -looks at baober and smileeeeees-

Got to stay over on thurs night =) and had belgian chocolate ice cream for supper!!! =)

Baober tricked me into sleeping more such that we missed farewell assembly the next day. I was like ‘whaaaat?!’ hahaha. The look must have been priceless. But he did it such that I could have more sleep, so I don’t have any regrets whatsoever =)

He cycled out to buy breakfast for me =D <3 Tummy saviour hehehe

Went to school in the late afternoon – him for basketball, me to prepare for art exhibition.

When I got to the art room, everything looked arranged and ready and we already had guests! And I was still not in art class tee (panic panic panic) Thankfully we managed to get everyone into their respective individualized tees and be humble hosts =)

It was strange at first when guests started to notice that our shirts are all different and have different writings on top and begin to read off our shirts. It’s stranger when it looks like they’re reading your chest. I never stopped to let anyone read mine, haha. /_\

I spent most of the time wondering around and minding my own business. It’s really weird to see people discuss/take photos of your work when you’re standing next to them/behind them and they’ve no idea you did it… the most awkward moment was when I had to explain my work to Jar’s parents and another adult and I could feel my chest contracting, I just couldn’t breathe right. They were the only people I explained my work to throughout the entire exhibition, and I’m comforted that they said really nice things =)

Around 7, A few of us headed down to collect 8 portions of $1 dinner from the canteen for our batch. The balancing acts back to the art room were awesome =D but sadly not many people ate the food. I finished more than 1 person’s portion and we still couldn’t finish all the food… and had to throw everything away x(

Then Joshin and Axel came =)

And then I got real tired from running around with them.

Juniors wrote really sweet notes to all of us! We took tons of weird photos which are all in mr chia’s camera. Oce was the photographer. =) Baober came over after finishing and went to look at our works. I decided to leave first so that we could have dinner together, and his stomach didn’t have to suffer no more! Yummy dumpling and noodles, and my favourite auntie and uncle at the store =)

Decided to stay over AGAIN =) and woke up even later than yesterday I think. Had a lovely day today because I had baober ALL and ENTIRELY to myself mwaheehee! (x I like singing and dancing and every single thing. It’s times like these that I really treasure, and constantly look forward to having. Thank you dear for taking care of me for two whole days you piggy! =D

Well, I’m finally back home (from the moon lalala)! Time for beddie. ^^

listen

Sad Romance by Dang Cap Nhat

Remembering

I’m feeling quite upset. It came so suddenly…

Through out these eighteen years of my life, I have yet to find anyone who shares this strange habit of mine… to remember things exactly as how they were like, from the clothing we were wearing to the looks on our faces and everything else around us at that point in time. I somehow just remember so much detail, so much ‘unnecessary’ detail, that whenever I think back to a memory, I feel as though I am living it again.

But then I try to tell someone who shared the memory with me and they can’t seem to remember, or it’s less clear to them, and inside I feel this disappointment and frustration. It makes me feel so incredibly lonely sometimes because there’s nothing I can do about it…

But a memory will stay a memory. I know there’s no way to live it again. So that’s the only thing that comforts me – memories stay in the past, and won’t interfere with the present and be distorted whatsoever. People who share these memories with me have lived through these times with me and that is what should matter. Even though they can’t remember certain things, I still feel joy when I know they remember the most important, lifechanging moments that may have forged our strong relationships til today.

I wonder if this ’skill’ is a curse or a blessing?

Full speed ahead

It’s time to start this engine going. I no longer want to waste too much time or fuel. It doesn’t mean that I’m throwing certain things out of my life. I’m just putting them aside for now.

As Ms C said, ‘everything else can come later.’

And when you really sit down to think through it, it just makes perfect sense.

So let’s go baby! =) I’ll hold your hand as you hold mine.

Keep faith.

Soothe

To the world you may be one person,
But to one person you may be the world

Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket–safe, dark, motionless, airless–it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.
-C.S. Lewis

Love is not love which alters when alteration finds,
Nor bends with the remover to remove,
No it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken
-W. Shakespeare

It gives me great comfort to be reminded of how I have loving friends and family that will support me through thick and thin, and try to understand even if I’ve made mistakes, done unreasonable things or wronged anyone. Thank you, everyone. Your unconditional support and encouragement means the world to me, and I will carry your smiles in my heart.

I think you’re lovely
- when you speak
- when you walk and skip
- when you’re asleep
- when you’re dazed or thinking about something
- when you’re chewing
- when you blink and blink and blink
- when you smile! and when you laugh
- even when you’re mad at me…
…

Whee =)

I’m so tired from all the action and activities today. I feel like my eye balls could pop out from their sockets and just disintegrate into ash.

Long school day + excursion trip to (“who’s the best?”)VJC to check out their art pieces. Today happened to be their open house too, and the atmosphere was high and fun and their mass dance is really cute. I mean, dancing on the roof?! Woo! Sooooo superrrr tired, tired, tired!!! And the activities don’t just stop after today. The entire weekend is packed with things and I don’t know if that’s good or bad =).

One thing I’m so happy about is that I’m staying over at your house (yay! ^^), and there’s always yummy food lying around and the best company heehee =). Spent the last few hours talking, and I felt really… zen, like I found peace in my heart. I looooove that feeling. It’s been nice just spending quality time talking about things that matter to us and playing games together. Really thankful for that dear. =)

Baober’s been obsessed about pet society recently, and vows that he will catch all the fishes from the fishing application for me one way or another. I don’t know how to feel about that actually, cause I rather he be revising his work than spending time… fishing… but I think it’s really sweet that you want to make me happy =) =) =). The fishes are all so cute hahaha! In a way this makes it mean even more to me cause we share all the experiences together. Ours, for us, love. =)

It’s time for bed! We ought to make it a habit to sleep earlier. >=)

Toodles! =)

Burping queen :D

I absolutely love wednesdays!

School ended real early today, and since baober only has one lesson in the morning which is pretty insane, I got to see him during my free blocks and after that. Big smileeee =D!

We had lunch at MFM at J8 and the food and service rules! =D Went there previously with him and his team mates and we shared a seafood platter for two, so today we decided to try the dishes from the student menu.

After ordering, the waitress told us that the food will take a while because the student packages only start at 2pm and it was around 1.45pm at that time. They served the soup first, and then a basket of fries which we didn’t order … and I found out that it was complementary! They gave it to us for free because we needed to wait for our main courses. =)

So sweet right? =D

I felt really happy because that meant that I didn’t have to worry whether baober had enough to eat. I always worry about that, so I often make meals for him. I mean, what if the food portion doesn’t resemble the picture in the menu? And he doesn’t have enough to eat? And he sure does have an appetite being a pig and all ahaha. I won’t tolerate a hungry man! I think having a good hearty appetite is important in every guy because it makes you big, healthy and strong ^^, so I always make it a point to make sure baober eats well.

We ended up so bloated and full from the starchy main courses, soup, fries and coke float that I wondered to myself why I had worried in the first place. Things always sort themselves out, one way or another.

The rest of the day was spent studying, napping, and spending time. =) We were both producing really stinky burps (me) and smelly farts (him) ahaha! Baober thinks it’s lunch that caused the stinky releases and I agree! The cream and fried foods do play a part, I guess.

We played pet society for a little while at night and I think that I can officially conclude that baober enjoys fishing. He REALLY enjoys fishing. I mean, it’s all we’ve been doing for a really long time already! And he wants to catch all the fish in the world for me =) aww!, which I think explains why he’s logged onto my account at this time and is using the application…

It’s time to chase the pig to bed!!!

A softer world

in your eyes.

paint my love,

you should paint my love

it’s the picture of a thousand sunsets

it’s the freedom of

a  thousand d o v e s

baby, you should paint my love

I would fly

to the moon and back

if you’ll be

if you’ll be my baby

got a ticket

for a world where we belong

so would you be my baby

<=)

when you look me in the eyes

tell me that you love me

everything’s alright

when you’re right here by my side

when you look me in the eyes

I catch a glimpse of heaven

I find my paradise -

when you look me in the eyes

fly me to the moon

let me sing among those stars

(^o^)/*

let me see what spring is like

on jupiter and mars

in other words, hold my hand

(^-^)o~   o(^.^)

in other words, kiss me

(^3^)

!fill my heart with song!

let me sing forever more

you are all I long for

all I worship and adore

in other words, please be true

in other words

i looove youuuu ~