I enjoy listening to people share about things that matter to them, like memories, moments, flashbacks, or their own opinions on things, and I always make sure I engage with what they’re saying. They may be rambling, or beating about the bush, but I give them my complete attention as long as I know that they’re being sincere, and not making a fool out of me. That’s usually based on my own judgement of the person and that’s also derived from how well I know him/her.
I realize that whenever I listen, I also look rather intensely at the person speaking and I don’t have much control of myself when it happens. I analyze the facial expressions and gestures. I think I do it because it makes me read them better, like how the look in ones eyes can amplify an emotion that’s expressed through words. And somehow in some way that I cannot explain, the person speaking never ever looks in my direction when talking… until there’s nothing left to say or he/she needs to stop for a while. I probably do the same when I’m talking just that I can’t remember.
I think people look away because it helps them remember memories better, or it allows them space to free their thoughts/gather them and construct them, like into a big mind map. They sort every thought out, and put it in order as they start to speak. They do it so the person listening won’t have such a hard time trying to gather bits of information, and it’s also clearer and easier for themselves.
It could also be a default response to look away when say you take on the role of a story-teller. You sink into your own world as others grapple to make sense of the thought that is private and yours, and that’s magical in some way, though a tad bit selfish. People can only use their imagination to pry into your secrets.
Perhaps they are consumed by the thought such that the only way they can gather themselves to pour their heart out is if they look away. It makes things slightly easier, and I don’t think anyone would feel comfortable being vulnerable and afraid. Or maybe he/she is just shy, and tries to hide the emotion, because one look into the eyes gives everything away, and that might not be what he/she wants.
And imagine different combinations of such possibilities happening while you’re speaking. I mean, I wouldn’t know where to look! And how is listening an easy task anymore? I wonder if this is really the case for some people… or just thoughts from my one track mind.
And I guess that’s why some things are better left private and kept to oneself. Certain things that if said could break loose like animals from the zoo and cause havoc in the land of towering skyscrapers, or represent timed bombs, ticking away, a prelude to disaster. But I never believed in letting one person climb out of his/her private thoughts without help from her surroundings. It’s important for us all to ‘get a grip’ on ourselves when we’re ‘thinking too much’ when we should just well, stop and ‘get over’, but it would be a lot easier if we all had caring and helpful supporters.
I think that we humans are pretty amazing. Our ability to feel, understand and learn makes us practically capable of anything. I’m being optimistic here, of course. It would be nice if everyone could lend a listening ear to more people, and if everyone could learn how to open up and trust people with their thoughts. You could inspire some people with your thoughts, you know?
A part of me has always refused to believe that people have secrets too deep or dark to share. I think if you do good, then you have nothing to hide, and that’s what I think people of our world should be like =)
Tags: random
